Expansion and Contraction: Part 1
If you are going through a hard time, feeling lost, disconnected from your divinity, or like you’re losing faith, this one is for you.
I’m writing you this message from Zurich, Switzerland where I now live.
Nine months ago, I made a huge change when I packed up my life in Thailand and moved to Switzerland to be with the man I love. In July, he proposed to me on a mountaintop in Mexico, and we are now engaged! He is the conscious, loving, deep divine masculine man I have dreamed of and SO much more. And yes, he is also on the ascension path!
To say this is a dream come true is an understatement. I have been seriously manifesting this sacred union for over a decade.
From the outside looking in, I’m living my dream life. And while this is true, it’s also true that I’m going through a hard time right now.
I’m grieving something and riding the volatile waves of that grief – cycling through pain, anger, denial, bargaining, moments of acceptance. I feel lost and confused about a big decision I must make. I can’t feel my knowing; the path forward is not clear. The weight of the grief and the uncertainty of the decision feel overwhelming. I feel stuck.
Right now, I’m in a state of contraction.
Contraction feels heavy and painful. It feels like something is terribly wrong, like I’m failing, not living fully, not on my path. The magic and joy of aliveness feel far away, and my knowing feels out of reach. In contraction, the voice of fear gets louder and more convincing. It likes to tell stories of worst-case scenarios and absolutes, saying things like, “what if this lasts forever?”
And it can be easy to start believing that.
But after 12 years of conscious ascension, I know there are cycles of contraction and expansion playing out all the time, individually and collectively.
Expansion and contraction. Light and dark. Love and fear. Connection and disconnection. Open and closed. Trust and doubt. Knowing and unknowing. Forgetting and remembering.
Expansion and contraction are part of the very nature of the universe.
When I’m in an expanded state, I feel fully alive. Anything feels possible. I am energized and life is flowing. I know I’m on my path, and I trust every twist and turn along the way as being part of that path. I hear my Higher Self’s guidance loud and clear. I trust, I act, I am inspired. It all makes sense.
Of course it would be nice to feel expansive all the time, but expansion and contraction on are equally important for our ascension, for it is contraction that gives birth to expansion.
I can look back now on the most contracted and difficult experiences of my life and honestly say they are the best things that ever happened to me.
These experiences eventually brought me deeper into my own healing. They broke my heart open into a million pieces so love could put me together again. They propelled me out of my comfort zone, where I was forced to grow. They inspired me to reach for MORE. They forced me to take stock of things and make much needed changes. They brought me deeper into my Holy Heart, deeper in union with my Higher Self, deeper into knowing my own divinity. They taught me so many valuable lessons that could only ever be learned by the challenge of experiencing them. They brought me more compassion, for myself and others. They closed doors so new doors of opportunity could open.
Contraction is not an unwanted thing to be removed from the path, it is part of the path itself.
And it can be very hard to remember this when you’re feeling contracted!
So if you’re going through a hard time right now, I’m here to remind you (and myself) there is wisdom in this unfolding.
Your Higher Self has a plan and a path for you, and everything that is happening now is happening for you, even if you can’t see it yet.
Often the biggest and most beautiful states of expansion happen after big contractions, and there are great gifts to be harvested, if we do our part.
The problem comes when we give up and allow ourselves to stay stuck in contraction, accepting it as our fate and taking on the victim role. This can happen for days, months, years, a lifetime if we let it.
But when we can remember the big picture of our ascension, when we develop capacity to be with all parts of ourselves and all seasons of life, when we can look at ourselves in truth, when we can stay curious about what life is bringing us, then we can ride the wave of any contraction and come out on the other side to experience a new level of expansive aliveness.
Here are some things I do when I’m feeling contracted, maybe they will help you too.
The first step is always to accept that I’m in a contraction. As long as I am in resistance to what is happening, I will stay stuck. (That said, denial is part of the process sometimes and if I can’t find acceptance right away, that is ok too! This part takes as long as it takes.)
I just let myself be for a little while. I spend time in nature. I try to let go of the need to fix or analyze what’s happening.
I allow myself to be human and fully feel the pain of the contraction. I might cry, I might feel angry, I might have moments of despair. I allow my feelings and sensations to be experienced on a somatic level. I hold space for my own emotional process. This sounds pretty basic, but sometimes it’s quite difficult to just be with what is arising.
I share what I’m going through with my close people I trust. I allow myself to be authentically seen in my process. Being witnessed in safety and acceptance is deeply healing.
I take care of my physical body and my nervous system. I do things that feel soothing, comforting, nurturing, and grounding.
I journal about the times I’ve felt contracted before and what eventually happened. I look at the history of humanity and remember the people who appear to be the most alive and expansive often come from past experiences of hardship. I remind myself of these natural cycles.
I surrounded myself with proof of how this universe operates energetically – remembering my own personal power to largely create my reality.
I go to my Holy Heart and ask my Higher Self to help me. I ask for healing and teaching. I allow myself to receive. I surrender to my Higher Self.
I spend time being quiet so I can feel and hear the answers when they come.
I work with my personal patterns of behavior and limiting beliefs that are present in the situation.
I try to be patient and surrender to my Higher Self’s timing (easier said than done!)
When I need extra support, I reach out for help. Having someone illuminate my subconscious material can be really helpful.
It’s taken me a couple of weeks to write this message, and in that time, I’m already seeing the glimmers of expansion on the horizon. Most of all, I trust the process I am in, even though I can’t see its purpose or where it’s leading me yet. I’ve been here before, and I know I will rise into expansion once again.
I also know how easy it can be to forget the purpose of this cycle and to get stuck in it. I hope this message brings some comfort and and remembrance, and if you want some extra support in your process, feel free to reach out.
Lots of Love,
Tara